Mojo is a Process, Not a Destination

Nothing stays the same.  Ever.

That's the best news ever if you're going through hell, and scary news when you're riding high and rockin' all the Mojo in the world.

Your dreams and happiness are not a destination.  It's a process.

Really take that in for a minute.  The process of things being good, shitty, okay, tolerable, lame, aMAZING....each moment IS the destination.  If you want to be happy, and the moment you're standing in right now IS the destination, what is that saying about your quality of life?

This is the moment that defines you.  You're not perfect, you've made choices you may not be proud of, but you made the best choice for you in that moment.  No need to judge it. 

All you can do is make the best choice for you in each moment.  Make the choice your Higher Self advocates.  It is all perfection anyway, so you can't screw it up!  Your judgements about it might say otherwise, but that's looking at it with a limited view.

God's view is bigger than that.  YOU are bigger than that.  You are not your choices.  You are not your mistakes.  You are not what you do, your personality, nor are you defined by your behavior.

You are Soul essence, you are Divinity, you are the very life Source that is God.

So stop beating yourself up because you think things should have played out differently.  You're playing small if you're doing this.  DECIDE to feel good right now.

Mojo is a choice.  It's dropping the BS that limits you and has you playing small.  It's embracing your imperfect perfection, your playfulness, and honoring what makes you happy; even the little things.

So today, make a decision to do something kind for yourself.  Offer kind words, acknowledge your efforts in what you do, move more, be kind to your body.

Mojo Magic is in full effect Lovers.  xo

Honoring My Preferences

When I first learned about honoring my preferences, I immediately thought of the hundreds of times I said, "I don't care" when asked for my opinion or preference of something.  I though I was being easy going and agreeable.  I had no idea I had been shutting myself down before the game even started.

Fast forward a decade or so.

I recently heard myself explaining that I prefer to go to the gym and meditate in the mornings, and that if I miss my window of opportunity the whole thing gets shut down.

No early morning workout to me equaled no working out.

Don't get me wrong....I like getting up early to get things done, but I have a baby girl who wakes up every time I take two steps away from the bed no matter what time it is.  There is also one car that has to shuttle around this family of four, so the logistics get complicated.  It just adds to the long list of legitimate excuses.

In other words, my preference became an excuse.

In each given moment, with every breath we take....we have choices.  All choices boil down to Love or Fear.  Do or Don't.  Life or Death.  Sounds drastic, but take away all the fluffy words and that's what you get. 

It has taken me years to "get" this, and I'm sad that I have been so narrow in my thinking.  I apologize to my body for not taking better care.  This fabulous body of mine deserves much better.  So here is my public pat on the back for finding my way to the gym six or seven times in the past two weeks, regardless of the time.  Middle of the day?  Yup.  Middle of the night?  Yup.

I even braved taking my two year old to the kids club and we both survived.  Relief!

So yes, I honor my preferences. If I get an opportunity to go in the morning, I take it.  But rather than having a preference to work out in the morning/not at all, I prefer to work out (period!) over sitting on my ass 24/7. 

Giving the Green Light

You want to meet someone, so you keep putting yourself "out there".  You go out with friends, you're dressed up and looking good, but NO ONE strikes up conversation with you.

Why???? Are you invisible?

Of course not!  A few simple tweaks will turn this around and you'll forget you were ever the invisible woman.

First and foremost, you must know there's a strong probability that you're getting checked out but not noticing it.  I'm sure you want to disagree with me, but I guarantee it.  When you believe no one is looking, you're not going to SEE anyone looking.

So how do you go from being the invisible woman to meeting droves of men when you go out?  Ok, forget droves.  How about ONE?  Keep these few steps in mind and see everything start to shift.

• Keep the conversations with your friends light and fun, and take a look around a bit more.  Your friends understand this.  If they expect deep conversation, it should be in a private space.  Expand your peripheral and pay attention to what's happening around you.  Only focusing on your friends and getting into deep conversations communicates to everyone around you that you're not approachable.  Flirt with everyone.  Lighten it up.

• When you want to be approached, give the Green Light. What does that mean?  Use your eyes to make an invitation.  Make eye contact a few seconds longer than is comfortable.  Smile!  And look again.  It's classic flirting, it's old-school, and it works.  

•  Even if you're not 100% jazzed about someone who may have approached you, talk to him anyway.  If you give the cold shoulder to someone because he's not "your type" you're feeding your unapproachable energy.  Engage in conversations every chance you get, though you can keep it short if it's someone you're not interested in.  

• Practice, practice, and play nice.  Everyone wants a hot commodity, and if you're chatting with Mr. So So, it draws attention from other men as well.  Stay open to conversation, HAVE FUN, and give men permission to approach you with eye contact and a smile.  Be genuine, engaging, and you won't believe how many people will be drawn to you!

Don't be fooled by the simplicity of these few steps.  They WORK!   It's all about being comfortable and allowing others to be comfortable with you.  Give it a try and share your experiences or ask questions in the comments below.  Love and Mojo to you!

Your Feedback

I got some great feedback from my survey question, 'What are your top 2-3 relationship challenges or issues that I MUST address as I create a program about relationships?'

Here is the feedback I received.  If more ideas pop up as you read, feel free to share in the comments below.

• Communication is everything!
• Speaking the same love language/ expressing and receiving love in way that is understood
• Sharing core beliefs
• Faithfulness and infidelity
• Having humility and being able to listen to constructive criticism without being reactive in the process
• Finances
• Trust, honesty, faith
• No nagging
• Addressing generational differences when there's a substantial age gap
• Maintaining the love within the relationship
• Taking a step back to look at the big picture rather than arguing over petty differences and miscommunications
• Having time in the day to meet new people and make time for them
• Ignoring red flags in the beginning stages of getting to know someone
• Addressing expectations and acceptance
• Trying to enjoy the process while feeling the pressure of a biological clock

What a great list!  I'm sure more things come to mind as you read this list, so please share your thoughts and join the conversation.

I'm taking all this juicy info and creating a program that empowers women, injects some Mojo Magic into your life, and offers a whole new perspective on dating and relationships.

Details soon to come....

I Want to Cover My Bases....Help a Sistah Out

Friends....I'm creating a program for women on relationships. What are the top 2-3 MOST IMPORTANT issues or challenges I need to include? I want to cover all my bases! Guys- your feedback is welcome too.

So far the feedback I'm getting is tremendous...

Communication challenges, ignoring red flags in the beginning stages of dating, blame...

Tell me more Lovers, tell me more.... :)