Learning to Surrender in Challenging Times

The concept to "let go and let flow" has always been foreign to me.  I'm a person who always has a plan A, B, and possibly C.  I like to know what to expect, to have some level of control in my life.  Many times I've been counseled to just relax, to "let go and let flow."  I see the value in this, and yet always struggled with DOING it.

Then I became pregnant.

In a birth class we attended, the teacher was talking about labor and birth as one of the few times in life we should welcome pain.  Welcome pain?  Did I hear that right?  Yes...apparently I did.

This seems preposterous! Who on earth would be happy to be in pain?  Who wouldn't do anything in their power to stop it?  What kind of class was this??

When I found out I was expecting a baby, I felt a mixture of joy and sheer terror.  I wasn't ready in any way to support another human being as far as I was concerned.  The months following were filled with tears, stress, financial worry, and fear up to the wazoo.  This was a kind of pain I felt unwilling to surrender to.

I was so bothered by the idea of surrendering to the pain that I couldn't get it out of my head.  Yet the more I contemplated this idea, the more interesting it became to me.

Surrendering to pain, whether it be literal or figurative, because you know it brings you that much closer to a beautiful conclusion offers a different perspective on why we're in pain in the first place.  Maybe your pain isn't because you or someone else messed up.  Perhaps there IS a divine purpose in this, loaded with blessings of growth and gifts beyond your dreams. 

You may feel like you've had enough growth.  You may be fed up with "looking at the bright side".  Maybe that's exactly why your challenges are still present.

The idea of surrendering to your pain does not mean accepting pain as your way of life.  Rather, surrender to the changes and the growth you are experiencing.  Soften your edges, take deep breaths, and think 'What would God/Buddah/Allah/Yoda/my Higher Self tell me to do?'  When a woman goes into labor, there's nothing you can do but help her get comfortable and offer moral support.  So why not do this for yourself??  Love yourself through your pain, be patient with your impatience.  When you surrender, you will come out victorious on the other side.

Just like having a baby, once you get started, there's no going back.  You may not want to keep going, but turning back on your new knowledge, experience, or even growth is no longer an option.  You don't get to put the baby back in.  She's coming out whether you like it or not.

When life overwhelms you, bills are stacking up, frustrations mount... remember to love the parts of yourself that show up, ugly or not.  Perhaps that's exactly the time we are meant to breathe, dig deep, and gracefully welcome the challenge.  Be proud of yourself for recognizing that you're being objective enough to see the frustrated parts of you.  Know that this alone elevates you as a person and that you're that much closer to a happy ending.

The happy ending you absolutely deserve.